It's not even that hard! Just lock us all in one room for a couple of days! Or...let us lock our rooms. Or set up a friggin buddy system!

It really sounds like you want rampant murder. Like when a fat guy's all 'ooooh, nooooo, I can't have cake, cake is so bad for me, please don't bring me any cake....' but he really means 'fuck you, I want all the cake'.