jinglehellmods (
jinglehellmods) wrote in
jinglehells2017-12-22 10:38 am
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on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me a trial to see whodunit
WHO KILLED CHRISTMAS?
Four hours pass. Thug Dangerzone and Brasco move all the tables together (with no help from Starshine) and the "trial room" such that it is, is set. One long table with plenty of standing room if you aren't feeling like getting buddy buddy with your new best friends. No one seems to have wanted to move the body, so right next to the long table is Kido, sort of covered with the tablecloth. (Was it made to be a reminder, of what you've lost? Or are they just lazy?)
On each spot at the table is a sandwich and apple cider, and that basket sits ominously in the middle of the table as a gruesome centerpiece reminder. Next to the food is a pen and a small notebook, like the kind they use on police procedural.
After everyone is seated, or at least standing awkwardly around, Starshine goes to stand at the head of the table and claps her hands to get everyone's attention. "Hello everyone. I hope you used your four hours wisely!" She sets a piece of paper on the table, with a variety of names. "Here's your suspect list. We were doing a little digging while you guys were busy poking around, so we've determined it's one of these idiots. Please discuss among yourself who did it. When you're ready, write their name on the paper and hand it to one of us and we'll count. When a majority of you have all written the same name, we'll stop. Or, uh, I guess if you waste enough of our time."
She looks from Brasco to Thug Dangerzone and then back to the table and the gathered masses. She waves her hand in a sweeping gesture in front of everyone, "Let the Hunger Games begin!"
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[ shes....surprised?? ]
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[ princess starshine takes a deep breath ]
Here's what I think: this Kido guy got up in the middle of the night to go downstairs to use the bathroom even though there isn't one down here because he thought he needed some privacy, right? Like, you know, some people hate using the bathroom when others are around.
So he came down here and, oh, shit, Santa was here. So he went to say hi because Santa was jacking our cookies in the kitchen and making himself a sandwich. Except, bitch, you thought -- it WASN'T Santa, it was the evil Krampus! And Santa transformed into Krampus and fought a valiant fight with this dude, cut his ass with his claws, and they fought on in here, and then the Krampus hit him over the head with the full fruit basket and stabbed him through the heart.
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[Yumemi no do not seriously believe this theory...]
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That's stupid.
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Brasco? Mr. Dangerzone?
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[ Have they? Have they, really? ]
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[ Is that really what we're latching onto here-- ]
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[ This face, like wow. ]
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[ just. ok... ]
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[ It never did say in the rules!!
Is it gonna be torture, a long-drawn out execution or a slap on the wrist, he wonders...!!! ]
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[ hm ]
I guess we'll put them somewhere they can't murder anyone. I can't just put them out in the storm...but when it's passed, I'll call the cops.
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[ He shrugs. ]
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Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that.