on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me a trial to see whodunit

[jinglehellmods]

WHO KILLED CHRISTMAS?

Four hours pass. Thug Dangerzone and Brasco move all the tables together (with no help from Starshine) and the "trial room" such that it is, is set. One long table with plenty of standing room if you aren't feeling like getting buddy buddy with your new best friends. No one seems to have wanted to move the body, so right next to the long table is Kido, sort of covered with the tablecloth. (Was it made to be a reminder, of what you've lost? Or are they just lazy?)

On each spot at the table is a sandwich and apple cider, and that basket sits ominously in the middle of the table as a gruesome centerpiece reminder. Next to the food is a pen and a small notebook, like the kind they use on police procedural.

After everyone is seated, or at least standing awkwardly around, Starshine goes to stand at the head of the table and claps her hands to get everyone's attention. "Hello everyone. I hope you used your four hours wisely!" She sets a piece of paper on the table, with a variety of names. "Here's your suspect list. We were doing a little digging while you guys were busy poking around, so we've determined it's one of these idiots. Please discuss among yourself who did it. When you're ready, write their name on the paper and hand it to one of us and we'll count. When a majority of you have all written the same name, we'll stop. Or, uh, I guess if you waste enough of our time."

She looks from Brasco to Thug Dangerzone and then back to the table and the gathered masses. She waves her hand in a sweeping gesture in front of everyone, "Let the Hunger Games begin!"

23 GUESTS REMAIN

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Comments

[snackhabit]

Well, if that's the case the church will just have to come and get me. They can sweep all this under the rug.

[OH MY GOD?!]

I'm sure they have some way to get here.

[brasco]

What? No. We're not just going to let you get away with it, this isn't Mad Max, there are still laws.

[snackhabit]

I'd like to see you try to keep me from getting away with this. I'm going to go back to Kevin, after all the rules said that, right? If we murder, then we can go home.

[brasco]

No! Oh my god, no, we said the opposite of that! We said don't murder! The opposite of murder! I don't know how to make this any clearer, we do not want you to kill people!

Listen, we're gonna call the police the second this storm clears up, this isn't something you're going to get away with.

[snackhabit]

It was such an odd rule that was in there almost like it was telling us to murder. Perhaps you should change that in the future.

[She... has no guilt right now? She feels no guilt? I mean, she feels bad for Arai, but she had reasons.]

[brasco]

It was in there because you people keep killing each other!

[But this is . . . well, not weird, because he's seen sociopaths before, but it's still creepy.]

[snackhabit]

You guys are really stupid aren't you?

[brasco]

Wow. Okay.

[Don't be rude??]

You're a nun who murders, okay? That's like the very first rule when you're a nun, don't murder people. Maybe let's not go around calling names.

[snackhabit]

[Ries just laughs.]

Kevin, his job is to assassinate heretics. Of course it's not the first rule for us! And since it's my job as his partner, I suppose I can't feel bad if I murder someone.

[Spoilers: she really does feel awful, but she shut off her emotions.]

[brasco]

Okay, that's . . . . I'm almost positive that's not right, I mean, whatever, you do you, but that's . . . not how nuns work.

But either way, the poor dude wasn't a heretic!

[snackhabit]

I've been with the church for a while, since I was a child. I know how it works better than anyone here.

[brasco]

Yeah, okay. Sure.

[snackhabit]

I can kill you next! After all, what's breaking another rule?

[She's actually bluffing... probably.]

[happydreamed]

...If I may. I recall our earlier conversation, and while I would hesitate to tell you to trust people indiscriminately, if the alternative is assuming that they want you to murder people? They are probably being truthful in saying 'don't murder'.

[snackhabit]

Well, they were stupid to put it so many times in the rulebook, so that's on them.

[happydreamed]

Hardly as stupid as someone who assumes committing murder when expressly told not to is a good idea simply because the stated rules are a tad strange.

cw: suicide

[snackhabit]

I also have someone to get back home to or else he might kill himself or punish himself eternally. Most likely the latter.

[happydreamed]

...I am sorry to hear that. However, you have killed an innocent person and are no closer to returning home or helping your family.

I hope you reflect on that while in isolation.

[snackhabit]

Maybe... maybe not. I don't feel guilty for needing to get back to home to Kevin at all costs.

[brasco]

Thank you.

[happydreamed]

[what the fuck is wrong with her]

[brasco]

[RIGHT?? He widens his eyes at him, a look that says cool, I'm not crazy, this is a little insane, this nun is nuts, what the hell is wrong with everyone here.

It's a look with a lot to say.]

[letstrythatagain]

[OH MY GOD ]

I don't think we'll be releasing you to your church, honestly. My world has some nice cells that could be filled.

[snackhabit]

I'll do that, but only if you fulfill my request. Save Kevin for me.