jinglehells | trial 1; verdict

Entry tags:

verdict

trial 1; verdict

YOU DID IT

Well done, vacationers! Though you're all supposed to just rest and relax, you put on your detective hats and solved the murder correctly! Agatha Christie would be so proud. We're certain our first victim would be pleased, too, if only he could see you all now . . .

But hey, at least someone's proud of you! "Great job, guys, you did it. You figured it out." Her voice is surely not dripping with sarcasm; that's completely genuine praise she's offering. "Yeah!" Brasco adds, and it's a lot more genuine. "Some people train for years to solve murders like this. Pretty damn good."

Now it's time to say your goodbyes. Don't worry, it won't be forever. We're certain she'll be fine in her little cell, won't she? Off to the side, Brasco and Thug wait to take her away, but they're nice enough to give you all some time together. Don't try anything, though. They're tougher than they look.

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Uhhh, yeah, definitely!

[ Is that okay? Feeding a murderer? ]

What do you want to eat? I made sandwiches for everybody, but I take requests!

Anything is good. If you want me to make me another sandwich I would appreciate it.

[I'm just... done... Goddammit, Ries.]

Sure! Do you want anything special in it? Besides like, ham and whatever...

[ Oh boy, someone to test his cooking on... You're gonna have a fun time in jail, Ries. ]

[SHE'LL EAT ANYTHING OH MY GOD...]

Whatever you feel like putting in it is fine. I'll eat it.

[WHAT DON'T YOU EAT, YOU GLUTTON?!]

Okay, great! Is there anything you won't eat?

[Dorian's mouthing to the side, "DON'T LET HER EAT ALL THE FOOD WE HAVE"]

[ Thug mouths back "IT'S OK, YOU GUYS CAN KEEP THE GOOD STUFF" ]

Not that I can think of...!

[But if it tastes awful she'll throw it back to him...]

[ Rude!! They don't have to feed you, you murder nun! ]

Okay, awesome. So pig's feet is totally on the table.

[MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FIXED YOUR DUMB FUCKING RULES, HUH?]

Pig's feet? Well, as long as you prepare them correctly.

[ The rule says "DON'T KILL," ries!! ]

Oh, trust me. I know how to make delicious pig's feet. You know, I always say the true measure of a chef is how he cooks his feet.

Well, as long as it's good, I'll eat it.

[WHEN IT SAYS DON'T KILL THAT MANY TIMES, IT'S LIKE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, FRIENDS.]

[ They are going to have to write an entirely new rulebook next time, thanks to you. ]

Great! I'll whip you something up then.

[ Pause....... ]

It might take a while, though. Pig's feet take a while to cook...

Can I have something while you're cooking it up?

[She's really hungry, okay? She gets hangry when she's hungry and we don't want this.]

Like snacks or bread or anything?

Sure, I can bring you some bread.

[ He looks over at Brasco... just plain bread is cool, right? Totes. ]

Once we lock you up, anyway. You're gonna have to wait a little longer.

(no subject)

snackhabit - 2017-12-23 23:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

secretingredients - 2017-12-23 23:54 (UTC) - Expand

Come on, man, she just murdered somebody.

I mean, yeah, but we're not gonna let her starve.

Yeah, but . . . I don't know, make it a crappy sandwich.

A crappy sandwich?

[ Thug scoffs. ]

Brasco, have you ever known me to make a "crappy" [ he uses airquotes ] sandwich?

[ . . .]

You know what you should make her, buddy? One of those sandwiches nobody else will eat. Pig's feet or . . . goose feet, or . . . god, why are there so many feet in these foods?

Goose feet is delicious! One does not simply put goose feet in a sandwich.

Pig's feet, though! You might be onto something there.

Yeah, there you go! Pig's feet sandwich, that's a perfect last-meal-that-isn't-actually-last.

Aw, c'mon. You're saying pig's feet like it's a bad thing.

[ No one wants your pig's feet, Thug. ]

That's because it is, Thug. To literally everyone else on the planet.

Psh. That's because you guys haven't actually tried it.

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